How to Write a Eulogy for Your Ally - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Writing a eulogy for someone who was your ally can feel both personal and political. You want to honor their spirit and the way they showed up for you and for others. This guide gives clear, usable steps plus real examples and templates you can adapt. We explain terms and acronyms you might see and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick an example that fits, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone tasked with speaking about an ally at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, or a community vigil. Maybe this person marched beside you, amplified your voice at work, called out injustice in small daily ways, or created a space where you felt safe. You might be a friend, partner, coworker, or community member. There are scripts for direct activism, quiet support, workplace allyship, and complicated relationships.

What does ally mean

An ally is someone who supports a group that is not their own, usually by listening, learning, using their privilege to amplify voices, and taking action when needed. Allies can be loud and public or quiet and consistent. They can make mistakes and still grow into better allies. A eulogy for an ally should reflect both who they were and how they acted on their values.

Terms and acronyms explained

• Ally Someone who supports a marginalized group they are not part of. Allyship is an ongoing practice not a fixed label.
• LGBTQ+ An acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning plus other sexual and gender identities. The plus sign stands for inclusivity of identities not spelled out.
• BIPOC Stands for Black Indigenous and People of Color. It is used to describe communities that face systemic racism and related harms.
• Privilege Unearned social or cultural advantages one group has over others based on identity like race gender or class.
• Microaggression A small everyday comment or action that may be hurtful or dismissive to someone from a marginalized group even if unintentional.
• Intersectionality A concept that describes how different aspects of identity like race gender class and ability overlap and affect people s experiences.

How long should a eulogy be

Short and focused is better than long and scattered. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If the event includes several speakers or if the service is tightly scheduled keep your remarks concise and intentional.

Before you start writing

Preparation helps your words feel grounded. Try this quick plan.

• Ask about time Confirm how long you should speak and where you fit in the order of events.
• Check the tone Decide with the family or organizers if the tone should be solemn celebratory or a mix of both.
• Gather memories Collect two to four stories from friends community members or coworkers. A range of voices gives texture.
• Pick focus points Choose two or three things you want listeners to remember about them such as courage consistency or the way they showed up.
• Respect privacy Ask what details are okay to share. Some families want honesty and openness. Others prefer privacy for certain moments.

Structure that works

A simple structure will keep your speech clear and memorable. Use this shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of their role in life activist causes and community involvement. Keep it short and specific.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal how they acted as an ally.
• Impact and lessons Summarize the ways they changed people s lives and what they taught you about standing with others.
• Closing Say a goodbye line a call to action or invite the audience to honor that legacy in a concrete way.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Keep it simple. State your name your relationship to the person and a one line statement about what this person meant.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Jordan and I was lucky to call Alex a friend and a fellow organizer. Alex taught me how to listen with my feet and to show up even when it was uncomfortable.
• Hello. I am Maya from work. Sam made our team a safer place by calling out bias gently and by amplifying voices that were ignored.
• Good afternoon. I am Tyler and the person we are remembering was my neighbor and my comrade in community actions for years. They believed small acts mattered as much as big ones.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not an exhaustive biography. Pick details that highlight who they were as an ally. Mention roles hobbies work and the causes they cared about.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] grew up in [place]. They worked as [job] and volunteered with [organization]. They were the person who noticed when someone was left out and then did something about it.
• [Name] moved to [city] and quickly became known for [habit or role]. Whether in meetings protests or neighborhood events they showed consistent care for people who were often ignored.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are the heart of any eulogy. Pick short anecdotes that show how they acted as an ally. Keep the stories sensory and end with why the moment mattered.

Examples of short anecdotes

• At a workplace meeting they noticed a junior colleague being cut off. They paused the discussion and asked that person for their thoughts. That small pause changed how our team listened afterwards.
• At a march a stranger lost their shoe in the mud. They did not keep walking. They went back asked if the person was okay and carried them the rest of the way. That is the kind of care they gave.
• When a friend came out they left a note and a practical gift and then showed up at a parent meeting to talk about what it meant to be supportive. They married compassion with action.

Addressing complex relationships and mistakes

No one is perfect. Allies can make mistakes and learn from them. If the person you are honoring had moments of harm or growth you can acknowledge that honestly and kindly. Focus on accountability learning and any real changes they made.

Examples for complicated situations

• If they made a mistake say it plainly. For example They used to speak before they listened and it hurt people. Later they took feedback sat with it and changed how they acted.
• If the relationship between you and them was hard say that too. For example We did not always agree. Still they taught me the value of persistence and the need to apologize when we are wrong.
• Keep the focus on truth and repair. You do not need to list every error. Highlight the path they took to do better.

Using humor the right way

Humor can be a release and a reminder of their personality. Use small earned jokes that show their character. Avoid jokes that punch down or that would embarrass their family or people they defended.

Safe humor examples

• They had a fierce love for chai and a softer love for good signage. If you ever needed a protest sign redone they were your person.
• They believed in calling people by their pronouns and in calling out spinach in teeth. Both were important to them.

What to avoid when honoring an ally

• Avoid turning the eulogy into a performance of your own politics. The focus should be them not you.
• Avoid unverified claims about their actions. Stick to what you and others actually experienced.
• Avoid shaming others in the room. The goal is to remember and to inspire not to reopen old conflicts.
• Avoid overly technical policy talk that will lose people. Tell stories about impact instead.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples that follow the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details and edit for voice. Read them out loud and trim anything that feels forced.

Example 1 Ally in LGBTQ community three to five minute version

Hi. I am Casey and I was Alex s friend for twelve years. Alex was one of those rare people who could make a room feel immediately safer. When someone used the wrong pronoun they would correct it gently and then ask what they could do to make things better. They organized monthly conversation circles where people from different identities could speak and be heard without judgment.

One memory that sticks is a Halloween when a young trans person showed up wearing a costume they loved but looking scared. Alex noticed it instantly. They sat with them through the party introduced them to a few people and then drove them home and stayed on the porch until they were sure the person felt okay. That night was not newsworthy. It was a small concrete act that mattered enormously to the person who was frightened.

Alex taught me that allyship is not always about grand gestures. It is about noticing making space and refusing to let someone be erased. I hope we can all take a little of that practice with us. Thank you for being here and for continuing the work they cared about.

Example 2 Racial justice ally short version

Hello. I am Priya and I first met Jordan at a community meeting about neighborhood safety. Jordan was white and they showed up not to dominate the conversation but to listen and to ask how they could help. They used their time and skills to organize events that centered BIPOC voices and they pushed local groups to hire more diverse staff.

One moment I will never forget was when Jordan stepped back during a panel so that a younger organizer could lead. They could have stayed front and center but they chose to amplify instead. That decision changed how many of us thought about leadership and about who gets to be seen.

Jordan made mistakes like the rest of us. What mattered was they kept learning. Their life taught me that allyship asks for humility consistency and the courage to correct yourself. We will miss them but their choices live on in the people they supported.

Example 3 Workplace ally modern version

Good afternoon. I am Miguel and I worked with Sam for six years. Sam made our office a place where people could be real. They created an informal morning ritual of checking in with everyone and they were the person who noticed if someone was carrying too much. When a team member reported bias Sam did not get defensive. They listened asked questions and then used their influence to change a hiring practice.

My favorite memory is a crowded team meeting where a junior designer kept being interrupted. Sam raised their hand and said we are not done with her point yet and then made sure she finished. After the meeting Sam thanked her privately and offered mentorship. That moment showed that allyship is visible and also quietly supportive.

Sam taught us that being an ally at work sometimes looks like making space and sometimes looks like using your power to protect others. That is a lesson that matters now more than ever.

Example 4 Quiet everyday ally intimate version

Hello everyone. I am Noor and I lived next door to Jamie for seven years. Jamie was not in headlines. Their allyship was baked into how they lived. They volunteered to translate for neighbors who needed help at the clinic. They put a food box on the stoop for families in need and they taught their kids to say please and thank you in multiple languages. Jamie believed that small acts of care are how communities hold each other up.

Once I watched them spend an entire afternoon helping a new neighbor fill out a tricky form. They could have hurried home but they stayed and made sure the person understood. That patience and respect is what I will miss most.

Jamie did not preach. They practiced. That quiet steady care changed our block for the better and taught me that allyship is often simple and consistent. Thank you Jamie for showing us how to be better neighbors.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to make the voice your own. Read it out loud and remove any lines that do not feel true.

Template A classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [relationship to person]. [Name] was known for [one or two traits]. They volunteered with [organization or cause] and they were the person who would [concrete action]. One memory that shows who they were is [brief story]. They taught me [lesson]. Thank you for being here to remember them.

Template B for activist ally

Hi I am [Your Name]. I marched with [Name] and organized with them for [cause]. [Name] believed in showing up and then doing the work that follows. My favorite memory is [moment at a protest organizing meeting or one on one]. If we want to honor them we will [specific action like vote support a local group or mentor young organizers].

Template C for workplace ally

My name is [Your Name] and I worked with [Name] at [company]. At work they were the person who noticed when voices were being drowned out and they pulled people in. One example is [brief story]. They taught me that leadership includes making room for others. I will carry that lesson forward.

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking about someone you loved or admired is emotional. These tactics help keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper is less distracting than a glowing screen in a dark room.
• Use cue cards Small cards with short prompts help if you lose your place.
• Mark pauses Put a mark where you want to breathe or where the audience will respond. Pauses let emotion land and give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read your remarks to a friend to find awkward phrases and to time the talk.
• Bring tissues and water Keep both handy. A sip of water resets the throat and tissues are normal to need.
• Plan a backup Ask a friend to stand with you in case you need help finishing a sentence or two.

When you want to cry while speaking

If tears come pause breathe and look at your notes. Slow down and speak one sentence at a time. If you need to stop for a moment it is okay. People will wait. If you cannot continue have a short line prepared that someone else can read aloud if needed.

How to include readings poems and music

Short readings work best. Choose a two to four line excerpt from a poem or a passage that reflects their values. If you include music pick songs they loved or songs that match the tone. Confirm the officiant is comfortable with the piece and check permissions if a recording will be played publicly.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or a place to stand.
• Confirm with the organizer how long you may speak and if your words will be printed in a program.
• Offer to send a copy of your remarks to family members who ask for it.

After the eulogy

People may ask for a copy. Offer to email it or to include it in a memory book. Some families create a memorial fund or a community action list. If donations or continued actions are part of the plan include a short line about how people can honor the person s legacy practically.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Allyship The ongoing practice of support and solidarity with a marginalized group.
• LGBTQ+ Acronym for lesbian gay bisexual transgender queer plus other identities. The plus sign means inclusive of identities not spelled out.
• BIPOC Stands for Black Indigenous and People of Color.
• Privilege Unearned advantages based on aspects of identity such as race gender or class.
• Pronouns Words people use for themselves such as he him she her they them or others. Using correct pronouns is a common way to show respect.
• Microaggression Everyday comments or actions that can be hurtful to marginalized people even when unintentional.
• Intersectionality The idea that different identity aspects overlap and create unique experiences of advantage or disadvantage.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy for an ally if I am nervous

Start by saying your name and your relationship to the person. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Name] friend gives context and buys you a breath. Then say one true sentence about what they meant to you. Practice that opening until it feels comfortable.

Can I mention political work in a eulogy

Yes you can. Focus on stories of impact rather than policy minutiae. Explain why their work mattered to people and how they showed up. If the audience includes people with different views keep the language about values and human care rather than partisan arguments.

What if the ally made mistakes

Be honest and compassionate. Acknowledge mistakes briefly and focus on growth accountability and the steps they took to repair harm. That honesty can be more meaningful than ignoring flaws.

How do I balance honoring them and not centering myself

Keep the focus on specific actions they took and the impact those actions had on others. Use short personal examples to show how they affected you but avoid long stories that shift attention away from them.

Should I give a copy of my eulogy to the family or the organizers

Yes. Providing a copy helps with the program and ensures their words can be included in a memory book or shared with people who could not attend.