How to Write a Eulogy for Your Abuela - Eulogy Examples & Tips

Saying goodbye to your abuela is heavy and personal at the same time. You want to honor her, share stories that feel true, and get through speaking in front of family without melting into tears. This guide gives you a clear, usable method plus real examples and fill in the blank templates you can adapt. We explain terms you might see, include cultural notes for Latino families, and give delivery tips that actually work. Read through, pick a template, and start writing with confidence.

Who this guide is for

This article is for anyone who has been asked to speak about their grandmother at a funeral, memorial, celebration of life, velorio, or graveside service. Maybe you were the obvious pick because you were the person who called her every week or maybe you are the family member who can stand up and say something without turning it into a five person group therapy session. Maybe your relationship was messy. That is okay. There are sample scripts for tender, funny, bilingual, and short needs.

What is a eulogy

A eulogy is a short speech that honors a person who has died. It usually appears as part of a funeral or memorial event. A eulogy is not the same as an obituary. An obituary is a written notice published in a newspaper or online that gives basic facts like birth date, survivors, and service information. A eulogy is personal. It is a story. It is allowed to be imperfect.

Terms you might see explained

• Obituary A written notice about a death that usually includes biographical details and funeral arrangements.
• Order of service The schedule for the funeral or memorial, listing the sequence of readings, music, and speakers.
• Pallbearer A person who helps carry the casket. Pallbearers are often close relatives or friends.
• Celebration of life An alternative to a traditional funeral that focuses on stories, photos, and less formality.
• Velorio A wake or vigil where family and friends gather to keep watch and share memories before burial or cremation. It can last hours or a few days depending on family tradition.
• Misa Spanish for mass. If the family is Catholic, a Mass may be part of the funeral rites and a priest might lead prayers and readings.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort for people nearing the end of life. Hospice can be provided at home or in a facility.
• RSVP An abbreviation of the French phrase respond s il vous plait which means please respond. It is used on invitations to ask people to confirm attendance.

Cultural considerations for writing about your abuela

Grandmothers in Latino families often hold special roles as culture keepers, cooks, moral bosses, and unconditional cheerleaders. Ceremonies can include elements like a rosary, a novena, family prayers, or even a neighborhood potluck after the service. Check with close family about the tone and any religious traditions to respect. If your abuela spoke Spanglish, loved certain songs, or had a habit of fixing everyone s problems with a bowl of caldo, those details are gold. They make the speech feel like her.

Ask family about these practical things before you write

• Will the eulogy be in Spanish, English, or both? If bilingual, consider short lines in Spanish to preserve rhythm and feeling.
• Is the tone more formal and religious or casual and celebratory? Different communities have different expectations.
• Do elders want certain religious phrases included such as Que en paz descanse which means rest in peace?
• Will you be allowed to play a song she loved or include a short prayer?

How long should a eulogy be

Short and clear is better than long and rambling. Aim for three to seven minutes. That usually translates to about 400 to 800 spoken words. If you are nervous about crying, a short heartfelt tribute can be more powerful than a long speech that loses focus. If multiple people will speak, coordinate times so the service stays on schedule.

Before you start writing

Preparation makes everything easier. Use this quick plan.

• Ask the family or officiant about time Confirm how long you are expected to speak and where your eulogy fits in the order of service.
• Decide the tone Do you want to be solemn, celebratory, funny, or a mix? Check with close family so the tone fits your abuela and the audience.
• Gather material Collect dates, milestones, nicknames, favorite sayings and tiny habits. Ask cousins and siblings for one memory each so you have options.
• Choose three focus points Pick three main things you want people to remember. Three is small enough to hold in one speech and gives shape.

Structure that works

Good structure gives permission to the listener and to you. Use this simple shape.

• Opening Say who you are and why you are speaking. Offer one single sentence that sets the tone.
• Life sketch Give a brief overview of her life in practical strokes. Focus on roles like daughter, wife, mother, sister, abuela, neighbor, or community volunteer.
• Anecdotes Tell one or two short stories that reveal character. Keep them sensory and specific. A detail like the smell of cinnamon or the sound of a wooden spoon will land.
• Lessons and traits Summarize the values she passed on or the things people will miss.
• Closing Offer a goodbye line, a short prayer, a quote, or an invitation for everyone to share a memory after the service.

Writing the opening

The opening is where you set the stage. Do not overcomplicate it. Start with your name and your relationship. Then say one clear sentence about what the day is for. If you want to use Spanish for emotional weight, short phrases like Gracias por estar or Te queremos can be very effective.

Opening examples

• Hi everyone. I am Lucia and I am Lola s granddaughter. We are here to remember the woman who taught us that empanadas fix most problems.
• Buenos días. I am Marco, her grandson. My abuela, Doña Rosa, taught me how to say I love you without always saying I love you.
• Hello. I am Ana and I was lucky to be her daughter. Today we celebrate the food she cooked and the pride she carried for all of us.

How to write the life sketch

The life sketch is not a full biography. Pick the facts that matter for the story you are telling. Use plain language and avoid listing every job. Think about the roles your abuela played that shaped her life and yours. Include nicknames and small cultural details to make it specific.

Life sketch templates

• [Name] was born in [place] in [year]. She moved to [city] when she was [age or life stage]. She worked as [job or role] and later as [another role]. She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a proud abuela to [names or count].
• [Name] loved cooking, prayer, loud music, and family reunions. She never let anyone leave her house hungry and she had a way of making holidays last a full day longer.

Anecdotes that matter

Stories are how people remember. Use one or two short anecdotes that have a clear setup and payoff. Keep them sensory and honest. Avoid anything that would embarrass family members in the room.

Examples of very short anecdotes

• When I was small, she woke me up at dawn to help make tamales. I hated the dough then and love it now. She taught me to be patient with food and with people.
• She had a rule that you never left the table without a refill. Once I tried to sneak out and she caught me. She pretended to be mad, but then gave me an extra plate of arroz con leche.
• On Sundays she would pull out an old radio and dance in the kitchen like the world was only two minutes old. She made joy look like a small everyday habit.

Addressing complicated relationships

Not every relationship with an abuela is picture perfect. Families have history. If your relationship was strained, you can still speak honestly and with dignity. Focus on truth and small reconciliations. You do not need to air private grievances in public. A short line that acknowledges complexity often feels more authentic than pretending everything was perfect.

Examples for complicated relationships

• My abuela could be strict and she held us to high standards. I did not always like it, but I see now she wanted us to be strong.
• We had a hard time understanding each other because of language and distance. In the last years we found a rhythm of small visits and quiet apologies that meant a lot.
• She had rules that felt old fashioned to me. Those rules taught me how to balance tradition and change. I am grateful for her patience during my mistakes.

Using Spanish in your eulogy

Short Spanish phrases can add authenticity and hit emotionally. If you use Spanish, check pronunciation on tricky words and keep sentences short so listeners who do not speak Spanish can still follow. Consider repeating a meaningful Spanish line in English right after so nobody feels excluded.

Safe bilingual example

Mi abuela siempre decía, La casa es donde está el corazón. She meant that family matters more than a house and she proved it every day through how she loved us.

How to include humor the right way

Humor can feel like permission to breathe. Use small earned jokes not shock value. Test them with a trusted family member who will tell you honestly if the joke lands. Avoid anything that could embarrass the deceased or single out someone in the audience. Humor that points to shared memories works best.

Safe humor examples

• She had two settings, fierce and fiercer. If you crossed her you learned quickly and then she made you sopa to make up for it.
• My abuela treated spices like a security system. If the food did not have enough cumin she considered it incomplete. She left us well defended against blandness.

What to avoid in a eulogy

• Avoid making the eulogy into a therapy session or a place for family disputes.
• Avoid unfiltered gossip or private family secrets that could hurt people present.
• Avoid long lists of accomplishments without stories to make them human.
• Avoid long readings in a language the audience does not understand without a short translation.

Full eulogy examples you can adapt

Below are complete examples you can copy and personalize. Each follows the structure above. Replace bracketed text with your details.

Example 1: Loving abuela, 3 to 4 minute version

Hello. I am Carla, her granddaughter. It is an honor to say a few words about my abuela, Carmen.

Carmen grew up in Ponce and moved to New York in her twenties. She raised three children and worked as a seamstress. She had a talent for making everyone feel seen and for fixing a hem with one needle and a look. She married Miguel and together they built a household where food and laughter were central.

One small story that captures her is how she handled every holiday. She believed there is no such thing as too much rice. If anyone attempted to carry food away too early she would call them back with a wave and a look that meant, not today. She taught us to take our time, to show up, and to cook with love.

She taught us to be generous, to forgive quickly, and to stand up for our family. Her generosity was quiet. She gave people a meal, a ride, a listening ear. I will miss her hands in the kitchen and the way her laugh filled the room. Thank you for being here and for holding her memory with us.

Example 2: Short bilingual eulogy under two minutes

Buenos días. Soy José y soy su nieto. Mi abuela, Doña Luisa, loved to dance and always made sure there was a chair ready for you. Her cooking was tough love and her hugs were softer than butter. She taught me how to be humble and how to laugh loudly. Gracias por estar aquí y por compartir sus recuerdos.

Example 3: Complicated relationship, honest and respectful

My name is Elena. My abuela was a complicated force. We did not always see eye to eye. She had expectations that felt heavy when I was young and I pushed back. As I grew older I understood the ways she tried to protect us. In the last years we found a new kindness. She apologized for small moments and I learned how to forgive. That gave me peace. I will remember her courage and the lessons she passed down.

Example 4: Celebration of life tone with humor

Hi everyone. I am Mateo, her oldest grandson. If you ever met my abuela you know she had two rules. Rule one was never show up hungry. Rule two was if you told her you were fine she would check three more times. She kept snacks on call like a superhero stockpiles capes. Today we celebrate her loud cooking, louder opinions, and the enormous love she dished out. Please laugh with us as we remember her beautiful mess of a life.

Fill in the blank templates

Fill in the blanks and then edit to sound like you. Read it out loud and trim anything that sounds forced.

Template A: Classic short

My name is [Your Name]. I am [Abuela s name] grandchild. [Abuela s name] was born in [place or year]. She loved [one hobby], she worked as [job or role], and she was the person we called when [small task or habit]. One memory that shows the kind of person she was is [brief story]. She taught me [value or lesson]. We will miss [what people will miss]. Thank you for being here and for supporting our family.

Template B: Bilingual short

Hola. Soy [Your Name]. Mi abuela se llamaba [Name]. She loved [hobby] and always said [favorite phrase in Spanish]. One small memory is [short story in English or Spanish]. She taught me [lesson]. Gracias por venir y por cuidar a nuestra familia.

Template C: For complicated relationships

My name is [Your Name]. My relationship with [Abuela s name] was complex. We argued about [small example]. Over time I came to appreciate [something positive]. In the last [months years] we [reconciled spoke often found peace]. If I could say one thing to her now it would be [short line you want to say].

Practical tips for delivery

Speaking while grieving is hard. These practical tactics keep you steady.

• Print your speech Use large font. Paper can be less distracting than a phone and is easier to handle when emotions run high.
• Use cue cards Small index cards with one or two lines on each card reduce the chance of losing your place.
• Mark pauses Put a note where you want to breathe or where the audience will laugh. Pauses give you time to regroup.
• Practice out loud Read the eulogy to a friend, to a mirror, or to your dog. Practice tells your throat what to expect.
• Bring tissues Or a handkerchief. Wet eyes are normal. If you stop breathe and continue. The audience will wait.
• Ask for help If you think you will not get through it arrange for someone to introduce you and to step in if needed.
• Mic technique Keep the microphone a few inches from your mouth and speak at a steady pace. If there is no mic speak slowly and project to the back row.

When you want to cry while reading

If tears come that is okay. Pause. Breathe. Look down at your notes and then continue. If your voice breaks slow down. Saying fewer words more slowly is often more powerful. Remember you are allowed to be human in that room.

How to include prayers, poems, and music

If your family wants prayers like the rosary or a short novena reading include them but keep them concise. Short prayers or two to three line poem excerpts work best at a funeral because they allow people to listen and reflect without losing the thread of the service. If you include Spanish prayers that might be unfamiliar to younger relatives consider printing a translation in the program.

Music choices

• Pick songs your abuela loved or songs that match the tone of the event.
• If live music is not possible ask the venue about playing a recorded track between speakers.
• Keep music short and place it where it supports the speech for example before the eulogy or as a brief interlude after a powerful line.

Logistics and who to tell

• Tell the funeral director if you will need a microphone or if you plan to hand out printed copies.
• Confirm with the officiant where you will stand and how long you may speak.
• Give a copy of your speech to the person running the order of service in case they need it for the program or memory book.

Sharing the eulogy afterward

People will likely want a copy. Offer to email it to family or to place it in a memory book. Some families request the eulogy be included in the printed program or placed in a binder at the reception. You can record the audio and share it privately with relatives who could not attend. Ask permission before posting a recording online. Some families want privacy.

Glossary of useful terms and acronyms

• Eulogy A speech given at a funeral or memorial to honor a person who has died.
• Obituary A written notice that announces a death and usually includes service details.
• Order of service The plan for the funeral listing the sequence of events.
• Pallbearer Person chosen to carry the casket. Usually family or close friends.
• Celebration of life A less formal gathering focusing on stories and photos.
• Velorio A wake or vigil where family gathers before burial or cremation.
• Misa Mass. A Catholic service led by a priest that can include readings and Communion.
• Hospice Care focused on comfort and quality of life for someone nearing the end of life.
• RSVP Means please respond. Used on invitations to confirm attendance.

Frequently asked questions

How do I start a eulogy if I am nervous

Start with your name and relationship. A short opening like Hello my name is [Your Name] and I am [Abuela s Name] grandchild gives the audience context and buys you a breath. Then say one true short sentence about her. Practice that opening until it feels familiar. It will steady you at the microphone.

What if I forget my place or start crying

Pause breathe and look at your notes. If you cannot continue have a designated person ready to step in. Many people keep their remarks short and let someone else finish a final thought if needed. A moment of silence is also perfectly acceptable.

Should I use Spanish if not everyone understands it

Short Spanish phrases are powerful and authentic. If you use Spanish repeat the main line in English so everyone understands. Avoid long monologues in one language that might exclude listeners who do not speak that language.

Can I use humor in a eulogy

Yes small earned humor is often welcome. Use jokes that are based on real kind memories and test them with a trusted family member. Avoid anything that might embarrass the deceased or upset family members.

How long should a eulogy be

Three to seven minutes is a good target. Short speeches tend to be memorable. If multiple people are speaking coordinate times so the service stays within the planned schedule.

Is it okay to record and share the eulogy online

Check with family before posting. Some families prefer privacy. If sharing is approved include a short note about where donations are directed if the family requested contributions in memory of your abuela.